The bikers of Benin

Posted on 5 May 2011

If there is one animal that needs a break it is the mule. Or donkey. Or is it the ass? Let’s call it Eeyore.

As you know, Eeyore is the gloomiest thing on four legs. Who can blame him, he hasn’t got the stature to carry the likes of Lawrence of Arabia across the silver screen and he can’t frolic with his pyjama loving cousins. So Eeyore is doomed to be a beast of burden. But not if the bikers of Benin can help it.

Two wheeled transport has taken over from most of the tasks Eeyore used to abhor. Now he wanders aimlessly through the streets freed from his shackles. Eeyore looks no happier though. Who can blame him after what he’s been through all these centuries, but Eeyore is free at last – until somebody runs out of petrol that is.

The downside is that his job has been taken over by the most fearless of people on earth: the Bikers of Benin. These are the real Hells Angels. Evel Knievel wouldn’t do half the things these guys do on two wheels. They don’t ramp over rows of buses – they head straight for them. Flaming hoops are no problem for these guys, why would they be if they can light a smoke at full speed with two passengers on the back, all in need of a light. And the passengers? Fearless. A ride along a potholed road at full tilt into oncoming traffic while the driver fishes around for his lighter is just an opportunity to catch up on cell phone messages or breast feed the baby. Yawn. Why don’t they put TV’s on these things?

Actually I have seen a TV on one of these things. It was a giant 68cm pre-flat screen beast that was being delivered to some tiny living room somewhere. I’ve also seen two goats; a wagon load of hay and 38 chickens in their cages on the back of these boneys hardly bigger than bicycles, and I’ve seen many, many families who treat it like it’s their station wagon. Off to church they go, five up, no doubt to thank the Lord they got there alive and to pray for the ride home. They should be given salvation. Anybody who faces that type of danger for the sake of the animal that bore Mother Mary deserves salvation.

So, here’s to you, oh Bikers of Benin. Thanks for giving Eeyore a break. And please, for your own sakes’, take it easy on the road or you’ll decimate the population and Benin will be overrun with asses.




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